I used to be a real lecturer. As a teacher, I could go on and on. If a student did something out of line, I could tell them five ways why it was wrong, how to do it better, what to try next time, etc...kind of like this sentence. As a parent its easy to do that too.
I began to realize that after the few sentences my eleven to fourteen year old students were not succumbing to my logic but either tuning out or cowering in self-loathing- neither the truly desired results.
One or two well placed sentences followed by a conversation seemed to work much better.
This is so much more important with younger children too. A pile of words in their rear view mirror does not help them to become the people we desire. They rarely check that mirror anyway. I am endeavouring to keep my words few and the dialogue open. Its hard, especially since I have it all together...subdued laughter here... but worth it.