I used to be a real lecturer. As a teacher, I could go on and on. If a student did something out of line, I could tell them five ways why it was wrong, how to do it better, what to try next time, etc...kind of like this sentence. As a parent its easy to do that too.
I began to realize that after the few sentences my eleven to fourteen year old students were not succumbing to my logic but either tuning out or cowering in self-loathing- neither the truly desired results.
One or two well placed sentences followed by a conversation seemed to work much better.
This is so much more important with younger children too. A pile of words in their rear view mirror does not help them to become the people we desire. They rarely check that mirror anyway. I am endeavouring to keep my words few and the dialogue open. Its hard, especially since I have it all together...subdued laughter here... but worth it.
6 comments:
Your approach is much better. I have had more than one teen tune me out until I figured out how to really talk to them.
~Naila Moon
Soooooo hard....but our wisdom is right! Great post!
I have a hyperactive son. He's 40 now and still is. He is one of four, so it wasn't the way I brought him up. When he transgressed i would ask "Why did you do that?" and listen to his answer. Often he would tell me what he'd done wrong and a lecture wasn't necessary at all. At other times I had to beat it into him - figuratively speaking, of course!
Great post as usual, always appears to show much wisdom.
Yvonne.
Great post as usual, always appears to show much wisdom.
Yvonne.
Awesome post! Found you through the a - z...am now following.
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