Tuesday, April 17, 2012

O is for Once is enough

One of the things that Dr Kevin Leman suggests in his book, Have a New Kid by Friday, is to say things to your children once and then leave it. He postulates that they are intelligent humans and can process what you have said. Assuming you made sure you had their attention before you said your piece, leave it at that. Saying it more than once is telling them you didn't really mean it the first time, or that they weren't really sharp enough to understand with only one chance.

The practicality of this is awkward, depending on the age of your child, the request and where you are, but I do think there are lots of opportunities for us to use this every day. I know we've tried it a little at our place, but I think the jury is still out on how well we are doing.

If you would like a FREE copy of  Have a New Kid by Friday, leave me a comment and I will send it to you. I have other Dr Leman books I am giving away for free, so go to this post and see what to do and what is available.

12 comments:

Dennis and Valerie said...

Dr. Leman's books are great. We have that one too. Whenever things start getting out of hand I know I've been inconsistent with the kids. We need to get back to the 'say it once' thing too- I just get so tired of repeating myself and it is true, they are quite capable of hearing me the first time. :)

Lucy Adams said...

I agree that in a single conversation, a parent should "say it once." Kids hate lectures and they generally tune them out. But in life, it takes both children and adults several repetitions over time to learn something. This is called consistency, and it's very important.

Stopping by on the A to Z journey. Have a great day.

Lucy

Marta Szemik said...

I wish I could apply this more often instead of constantly repeating, "Eat your dinner, eat your dinner, eat your dinner. Get dressed, get dressed etc". I'll make a conscious effort to make sure Once is enough.

lizy-expat-writer said...

From my viewpoint of been there, done that a long time ago, I'd say the Doc has a point. Once might not be enough but endless repetition is self-defeating. Often a raised eyebrow did the trick and got a response along the lines of, "Yeah, I know,eat my dinner."

welcome to my world of poetry said...

This was a great O post and enjoyable to read.



Yvonne.

Rosalind Adam said...

I never managed that with my kids. I'm trying to imagine me saying, "Get on with your homework!" just the once and it would happen... NOT! Mind you, I often have to say things more than once to Mr A. Nothing changes!

loverofwords said...

"Eat your vegetables, please, at least one bite," says my son to his son who has autism. Grandson says to me, "You get used to it." Vegetables that is. Hard to do sometimes when the parent is tired and impatient.

Petra said...

Good point. I've tried it (several times) and realized that good points (even the best) don't always work. :-)

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