Wednesday, April 11, 2012

J is for Just Say No

Do I have to win some kind of superficial dad of the year award by saying “yes” to all my children’s requests? Sure have another snack, go to that party, hang out with those people, read that, watch that, try that...

Far better will be winning dad of the decade by teaching them boundaries and consistent self-restraint by saying “No” at appropriate times.

Why do we always want to say yes? 


Betty Alark said...

I concur!
The child grows up understanding that you don't get everything that you want - not spoiled!

It really does the child an injustice to be raised without limits/boundaries.

Great post!

lizy-expat-writer said...

Couldn't agree more! I brought up 4 children and ran a Youth Club on the basis of "Firm but Fair". Not only did it work for me, the YC kids whose parents set boundaries were the happier ones. To be able to say "No, if I did that I'd be in real trouble with my parents" kept many a youngster out of serious trouble.

welcome to my world of poetry said...

I think that if you say Yes to your children all the time first they come to expect things right away, secondly would they love you more for it? I have seen it happen and the parents are less thought of then the parents who are firm but fair,


Linda - Nickers and Ink said...

Good point!

"NO" is not a bad word. Not always.

Hold that line, dads and moms. ;-)

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Anonymous said...

Maybe you remember me saying as a "pre-father" that I wanted to try to say "yes" as often as I could to my kids. Just saying.... that didn't last long... and wasn't wise... maybe idealistic.... but wouldn't even want to hint at recommending that anymore.


Join Us For Breakfast said...

Hi, catching up on your blog today. Couldn't comment on them all but wanted to let you know it was a good read. :)

Loralie Hall said...

I think it can be difficult to wound the people we care about most by not giving them what they want, but you're so right that in the end, saying 'no' can have so much better results

Sarah Allen said...

I think you're totally right. Kids need structure and appropriate boundaries.

Sarah Allen
(my creative writing blog)

mshatch said...

because we want them to love us but they'll love us more if we actually prepare them to be adults.

Matt Conlon said...

I am the NO what lurks round the corner in my house. I am the strict one. When my wife says no, the kids say please. When I say no, they go "aawwwweee..."

Great blog, new follower. :)

The Brew Newb

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