Discipline versus Punishment

We were challenged to think about the difference between discipline and punishment.  To me it seemed a matter of semantics, "You say tomato...." If however the word punishment is so loaded that we can only think negatives, then perhaps it is only right that we consider discipline as the word of choice.

My post from last Wednesday, Feb 22, raised a few questions in the comments section.  Was I saying there was no place for rewards? Am I promoting negative parenting? Is the issue here over clarifying the terms reward and reinforcement? Great questions and they deserve some kind of answer.

First off, I suppose I have to be careful to not come across as the source of all truth when it comes to parenting.  We've been trying to get this right for thousands of years and we haven't done it yet.

Secondly, what I was trying to say last week and apparently didn't really clarify was that we have to be careful to not raise children who do right when rewarded and therefore lose sight of why something is right and wrong, they lose sight of doing good for goodness' sake. All our children are different. What I hope we can work toward is children who learn to appreciate goodness and being good.

Thirdly, as far as training goes, one interesting thing I've heard and applied at times is to have your child model the behavior you want them to have. If they say something impolite, have them repeat it correctly. If they are rude to someone, have them try again speaking the way they should. If they complete homework in an manner below their ability, have them redo it. It should give pause when time is of the essence, it sure would work for me! A few thoughts open for your comments.

Also, still lots of time left to enter the book giveaway.  Please see the last two posts for more details.

And, if you haven't signed up for A-Z Challenge, do it now!  Its a great disciplining time for bloggers and a great time to get to meet new people, add new followers, learn new things.  Its a win - win.

New Revised Pay-it-Forward Book Giveaway

I've decided to change the give-away slightly.  You don't have to post the large ugly rules picture any more:)

Here are a few other things you might want to know.

The books are terrific. So helpful and witty and timeless.
You don't have to be a dad. You just need to know someone who could use a book.
I have multiple books so its not first come first served.

Here’s the list again of the titles I have to give away.

• Have a New Kid by Friday
• Living in a Step-Family Without Getting Stepped On
• Sheet Music: Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage
• 7 Things He'll Never Tell You, but you need to know
• It's Your Kid not a Gerbil
• Have a New Husband by Friday
• The Way of the Shepherd: 7 Ancient Secrets to Managing Productive People

On a completely unrelated note...have you signed up for the A to Z April Blogging Challenge? Consider it please! You have a real opportunity to meet lots of encouraging, funny, interesting people...people like yourself!  If you're not sure what to do or how to add your name, leave a comment here or over there...at the Challenge site...and someone will gladly help you.

The great pay it forward giveaway

As I alluded to earlier, Dr Kevin Leman has generously donated several books to Dads UnLimited.  Dr Leman is a renowned psychologist and writer who has been helping families and couples for many years.  With very little prompting, Dr Leman’s organization sent me several books that I am now giving away.

Here’s the scoop.

I was given these books. 

I am giving them to you. 

You promise to give them to someone else.

Just follow these four simple rules and you could just win!

Here’s a list of what I have to give away.

• Have a New Kid by Friday
• Living in a Step-Family Without Getting Stepped On
• Sheet Music: Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage
• 7 Things He'll Never Tell You, but you need to know
• It's Your Kid not a Gerbil
• Have a New Husband by Friday
• The Way of the Shepherd: 7 Ancient Secrets to Managing Productive People

Rewards for right behavior

I have said it to kids a hundred times. Likely you have to.

“Do this and you will get this.”

“You did this, so, here, have this.”

I am training my child to act like a rat in a maze. Want a little pellet of food? Jump through this hoop. What is this really saying though? Are we not teaching our children that we do what is right because it brings a reward? What about if there is no obvious reward? Are we not also training our children that no reward means we don’t have to act rightly? Are too many questions in one paragraph hard to follow?

We need to take this back. We need to train our children to do what is right. Period. Maybe we sometimes use rewards. But we have to teach them why it’s right. Maybe we have to learn why ourselves first.

Why I won't play

My kids want me to play.

What makes me say no? There are legitimate and there are lazy reasons.

Tired -or- "Tired"
Mentally can't handle playing that make-believe game again. - or - Don't think I can mentally handle playing that make-believe game again.
"You won't be able to understand the rules of that game."  -or-  I don't want to take the time to teach you that.
I want to read.  -or-  I don't want to do that.
"I have to get some work done."   -or-   I choose to get some work done.

Its a hard balance isn't it dad (or mom)? I often tell one of our boys, "That's why I got you a perfectly good brother."  I don't know if that is just an excuse, but sometimes, a kid just wants to play.  Let's make sure that we sometimes get it right.

See you someday over there, Kid.

This was supposed to be about birds and keeping your kids in touch with nature, but that will have to wait. This has nothing to do with being a dad, but I have to say something.

Today (I'm writing this on Thursday), Gary Carter died.

The Hall of Fame catcher made baseball fun for me as a kid growing up.  I loved the Expos.  I was very sad when they traded him to the rival Mets. Gary was jovial, proud, gregarious, and talented.

I remember driving into Montreal with my brother the day he announced his retirement.  For several years we tried to make it to Montreal for at least one weekend.  We saw him on the field that day, the second last one of the season, but we didn't stay for the final game of the season when he doubled to win the game and end his career.

I have a picture of him that I took that day.  He's talking to his long time team mate, then with the Cubs, Andre Dawson.  The two of them no doubt laughing about days of youth and energy and potential and about what lay ahead.  I sent it to him to get signed and he graciously did.

I have a heavy heart, even though this has been coming for months.  Gary's daughter has been posting semi-regular updates and I checked it as recently as yesterday wondering what was new, since the last post, four weeks ago,  had been very disheartening. This is really hard to take.  One of my heroes is dead.  Heroes don't die do they?

The entropy of St Valentine

Valentines’ Day, Mother’s Day, Halloween, Back to School shopping, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Black Friday, Boxing Day, Father’s Day, Grandparents Day, Groundhog’s Day…how do all these special events get hijacked by retailers?  Okay, Groundhog’s Day’s still pretty much unaffiliated, but the rest? 

I know giving gifts is one way to show love.  I know buying gifts is one way to come up with something to give.  I wonder if we haven’t moved beyond desire to give to necessity to give and when that happens in any area of our life, how does it usually look?  Think about you in Grade 7.  Think about some of your Sunday mornings at your place of worship (or Saturday or Monday or whenever you gather).  Think about that relationship you took for granted.  Think about your car you used to keep so clean. 

Entropy.  It all falls apart.

Don’t let the marketing of “Love” ruin love for you.  Take it back whatever way you need to, whether in your own mind or in the way you celebrate these days.  And remind your kids.  Remember what it felt like Christmas morning?  Today’s the day after Valentine’s Day.  Who’s going to give flowers today?

Resources, and a hint of something new

Well, Saturday was a great day.  We enjoyed the winter carnival here in Orillia, the weather even hinted at winter for the day, so that was good.  Bring on the spring now.  Pitchers and catchers report to Spring Training this week and that always means spring to me.  And baseball.  And hope.  No predictions for “my” Nationals this year, except to say that third last year and one game below five hundred…I expect better this year.

Over the past several days I have been searching for some inspiring dad related blogs and web sites.  Obviously when there are hundreds of millions of websites, this may take a couple of more days to exhaustively search out!  However, I would like to introduce you to a few new ones to me that I have added to the links panel at the side of this blog.

First up there is Dave Ramsey’s site.  Many of you have heard Dave Ramsey on the radio doing his financial show.  I think his advice is so needed in today’s world.  My wife and I have been following a lot of what he suggests for the past fourteen months or so and are seeing the rewards now of staying “gazelle-like”.  If you want to get a grip on budgeting, debt-reduction, investing, etc, this is a great start.

Secondly, there is Family Matters with their focus on grace-based parenting.  This site has lots of inspirational posts.

Thirdly, Dr Kevin Leman…and I will be saying more about him soon.  In fact, I will leak a little information here.  Lets just say, that Kevin Leman has been nice to Dads UnLimited and the winner is you! 

Fourthly, Kevin East’s blog from Following to Lead.  He’s got information on being a leader and importantly for me, on being a foster parent.  My wife and I have been fostering for nearly one year and it has been a joy and life-changing phase of our lives. 

Next, The Best Daddy Ever…Inspiring you to be just what the title implies.

Lastly for today, DIYFather.com . hundreds of reviews, articles, ideas, fun, games, stuff!

Free indoor day activities do with kids at home

Last week I posted five free rainy/wintery day ideas to try away from home.  Here are five fun rainy day ideas to try from the comfort of home.

6)         Games.  Pull out some you did not think your kids were old enough for (our youngest son was playing chess at four), or, some that have been moth-balled.  If you don’t have the time or energy to play along with them, pull out the old family favorites that you don’t have to teach them the rules for.

7)         Build a fort.  The great thing about forts is that it can be torn down and made better or bigger.  Hours of fun to build and then enjoy.

8)         Share a hobby.  You’ve been working away on something you like to do for years.  Why not share it with your kids now?  Teach them a skill, and get them excited about something you are excited about. 

9)         Craft time.  Painting, coloring, plasticine, cutting and pasting, the ideas are limitless, the supplies needed are often simple.  Plenty of websites are available to give you ideas.

10)       Its only rain.  Go out and enjoy it!

Oh, and happy birthday, number two child!  Tomorrow is his big day and I can't wait.

Screen Time

According to Neilsens statistics, children aged 2-11, in the year 2009, spent at least 28 hours per week in front of a screen of some kind.  That’s more hours per week than in a classroom, talking, eating, or playing.  This does not even account for what likely is an even larger number by the 12-18 year old group.  This is becoming a reality of our world, you have to be able to use the cell phone and the computer to communicate well.  How much is too much though?  Are we losing the ability to communicate effectively and face to face (and those two often go hand in hand)? 

You may remember your early days of messenger and emails and message boards.  You offended and were offended very easily, this was an evolving technology and we didn’t know how to deal with it. 

Sadly, our children are growing up with technology and we assume they know how to use it.  We don’t recognize that the ability to use the technology is not the same as being able to handle it.  Teach your children to talk when they need to talk and text or message when its appropriate.  Teach them that arguing things out online or via phone messages is not an effective way of dealing with important situations.  More will be said about texting later.  

Screen time, its here to stay, but we own it, it doesn’t own us.  Or our kids.

Be the best dad you can be for your kids.

Be the best dad you can be for your kids... I guess that’s really the theme for this whole blog, but, I was thinking about the specific wording which headlines this post.  There are two ways to think about that sentence because there are two nouns. There is dad, and there is child.  There is me being the best dad I can be.  There is me being the best dad I can be for the child(ren) I have.

Think about it this way.  You have a boy who loves art.  You don’t love art.  You have no talent for art as far as you’re concerned.  Being the best dad you can be, you learn to love art, you learn to be better at art.  Being the best dad you can be for your kid, you encourage him to be the artist.  You pursue what is best for them, not what you wish they would do.  

How do I project my desires onto my children?  Do I live vicariously through them?  Do I allow them to be who they are?  

Five free things to make an indoor day with your kids enjoyable

Today’s post is a list of free wintry/rainy day ideas to do away from home.  I wrote this post for Examiner.com a few months ago but I’m splitting it up here for your enjoyment.  Next Friday will be rainy day ideas to do at home.

          1.)        Head to your local library.  New books, new music, new movies.  You will soon have lots of novel (excuse the intentional pun) items to entertain for hours.

          2.)        Indoor playground.  Some fast-food restaurants and malls have indoor play places.  Is the energy level building at home?  Let them burn it off at someone else’s place!

          3.)        Play date.    New toys and new personalities make it far more interesting to go visiting than to sit at home arguing with the same mom or sibling!  Plus, mom or dad enjoy the benefit of adult conversation and a good hot drink at the same time.  Don’t forget to reciprocate next rainout.  Invite your hosts to your place and watch the forecast!

          4.)        Scavenger hunt at the mall.  Depending on the age of your kids you can come up with easy games, like finding “things that are green”, or if they are older, “things that start with “j” or “something to give to Uncle Ben for Christmas.”  You can make it as unique as possible without even entering a store.

          5.)        Volunteer somewhere.  Is there a local seniors’ residence where you can go?  Could the local SPCA use help?  Is your church in need of cleaning their nursery toys?  Food bank?  An older or needy neighbor?  What better way to clear the gloom from your day than to brighten someone else’s!

What are some tried and true ideas that work around your home?

The myth of quality time

There is quality time.  I understand the concept.  A line from a song from the tremendously underrated but superb Chagall Guevara comes to mind. 

           
             Daddy’s gone AWOL, absent without leaving.

So yes, just being there isn’t enough, there is such a thing as quality time and we should be striving for it with our children. 

The issue to me though is that we use it as an excuse for checking out too many other times.  If I just spent twenty great minutes with my kids (“great” as defined by me too often.), that becomes an excuse for checking out for the next 24 hours.  Why?  “Its quality, not quantity.” We’ve heard it so often that we forget what it means and make our own definition.  Being selfish, I then allow myself to spend 23 2/3 quality hours per day on myself or work.  When this becomes a pattern, not an exception, we’ve lost perspective, and our kids are losing dad.  Chagall Guevara continues in their song I referred to above:

I swear if he ever really held me,

they’d have to pry me off with the jaws of life.

“You don’t understand, you don’t know my schedule, my stress.  I have needs too you know.”

I do know.  At least somewhat.  I too am a husband, dad, employee, volunteer.  I also know that our culture teaches us to take care of number one first.  When you had kids, you agreed to give them your best.  They didn’t ask to come into the world, you asked them. 

Lets try to spend a week giving more time, and see how that works.
Here's a clip of Chagall Guevara live in England a few years ago.  Don't listen if you don't like it a little loud and in your face!

Seven Dads I’d like to meet

Several days ago, Arlee Bird at Tossing it Out passed along an idea to write about seven people from the past that you would like to meet and why. 

Abraham How could you be so sold out for your God, that you would risk your son for Him?  Where does that faith come from that lets you say, “We will return”? What was that wait like?

Charles Dickens You cared so much for the poor children of the day, how were your children treated?  I hear that home wasn’t so good.  How did you wrestle through that?

Bill Cosby You wrote the book on Fatherhood.  Did you ever wonder about what people would think of you as a dad?  You lost your son in a tragic situation.  How did you keep going?

Ike Everley You played with, maybe even taught Chet Atkins on the guitar.  You raised two lads who became the Everley Brothers, and years later, fame and fortune never broke that unity apart.  How did that happen?  Could the same thing have happened in today’s culture?

Henry Fonda You raised three kids in the spotlight, you always struggled with living who you thought you were supposed to be in a culture and atmosphere that allowed you to behave differently.  You struggled with showing love toward your children, and yet late in life, you discovered how to reach out to them. 

Archie Manning This may be a theme here, but how do you pass on a love for something you were obviously good at to your boys?  How do you cheer when they compete against each other?  What’s the mental part of the game that you taught them?

Ken Griffey Sr. You and Archie Manning are a lot alike.  You both had really good careers as professional athletes, and now you’re better known for who your children are.  What was it like running out on the field with Junior that first time?  I always thought that was so cool, father and son on the same team.

Obviously there are lots of other interesting dads out there.  Who would be on your list?  Can you let me know in comments if you decide to use this topic please?

Dads UnLimited enters A-Z April Blog Challenge

There are a few things which may come along to interrupt the flow of Dads UnLimited and our quest to find the better Dad inside all of us. One of those things is April's A-Z Blog Challenge. This challenge is to post every day (except Sunday after the 1st)beginning with A and carrying on to Z. The fun is in the visiting, commenting, and having visitors comment on your blog. I intend to follow the theme of Dads UnLimited through the month while at the same time play along by the Challenge's rules.

 Today is the first day you can sign up for it and so I did. Last year there were over 1300 people signed up for it. It was a great way to meet fellow bloggers, challenge myself to write more consistently, study blogging strategies, think a little more clearly about what I want to do with this site. In fact, last April was the seed for the tiny sapling this blog is today.

 May I suggest to you that you would also find great fun doing this challenge? Head over to the main site, read a few of the latest posts, especially the tabs at the top of the page and sign up!

We have seen the enemy and he is us

Today's idea is to pay attention to yourself.  It sounds selfish, but read on.  When a situation begins to escalate (and though I'm talking about at home, this is true of everywhere else also), you need to be aware of yourself enough to step on your own brakes and bring that situation to a stop.

As a dad, my role is not to win arguments but to train up my child in the way they should go.  To help them work through the difficulties they are experiencing.

Too many times, I am the cause of the problems of my child's bad reaction.  If I spoke to them or treated them the way I am trying to train them to speak and treat others, I would not receive the negative reaction I get.  I would say that in all my years of teaching, in a vast majority of situations where a child got in trouble for disrespecting a teacher, the teacher was guilty of disrespecting the child first.  Sometimes that was me.  It wasn't until I came to realize that I had to be in control of myself before I could be in control of my classroom, that this became less of an issue.  It sounds like an obvious thing to say, and it makes sense, but I had never really thought of it in that way before.

So, here's an idea, pay attention to yourself.  We have seen the enemy and he is us.

Immortality's what we're buying?

One of the saddest trend going in our world today is the one that pushes us toward our fifteen minutes of fame.  Ever since Marshall McLuhan came up with that prediction, the world has been marching toward fulfilling it like it was a command, not an assumption.  From the popularity of Survivor (over ten years ago now!) rose the monolith of reality television.  The belief now is that my big break into the celebrity world is just a submission-tape away, or with YouTube, a viral video.  If I am a somebody on tv, I am somebody. 

The blurring of what is real and what is not is evident in tv shows like The Hills for young people and also The Daily Show and The Colbert Report for slightly older.  Is it real or acting?  Do I have to be someone I am not, sell myself out, ignore my conscience to be popular?

It sure doesn’t take much to become popular today.  It may be as easy as singing really badly, behaving poorly, staging a phonynews event, wearing something in public that should have at least two layers over it, tweeting something insensitive or rude… doesn’t take talent, it takes a plan. 

When I used to ask students ( I taught Grade 8 for thirteen years) what their dreams were for their future, the trend was toward being famous.  “I want to be a famous fill-in-the-blank.”  I rarely (likely never, truth be told) heard, “I want to be a really good fill-in-the-blank.”  For some it was because they thought the famous musicians, dancers, athletes, actors, lawyers, or doctors must be good.  For many though, it is the fame itself that they really wanted. 

If I am not “somebody”, that doesn’t mean I am “nobody”.  Tell it to your babies.  What is right is not always popular, what is popular is not always right.

Welcome to the club

So today’s big news is that we’ve added a page here to Dads UnLimited.

 Look up at the top and you will see it there- the one that says Join Our Community. It has been there off and on for a while but now it actually has some content. The point of that page is to engage each other. Lets ask, add, imagine and inquire into what it may take to become better dads.

 Maybe you have a pop culture question.
 Maybe you have a problem with one of your children or your role as dad.
Maybe you have an inspiring or funny story to tell.
Pop in, join the community, introduce yourself and lets make this thing work!

Hit the floor

First off, stay tuned for a fun bit of news coming on Monday. I am hoping to make this place a little more interactive and Monday will be the beginning of that.

 Its Friday so here’s an idea for you...Get on the floor (not now, after you’ve finished reading this…).

 From this perspective things look different. You see that sock under the chair that someone was just missing, yes. But, you also see the world of the little people in your home. While you are down there, wait a few seconds… unless your children are in bed or are immobile, within that few seconds, they may just come to you. How often does that happen when you sit on the couch reading or watching tv? How often does that happen when you are texting or surfing blog posts?  You have arrived in their space. Be careful, fun may just ensue.

Now, get off that chair and get on the floor!

Get it now!

Why wait? Our society’s credit cards, drive-thrus, highspeeds, fastpass, express lanes, instant meals, and pvr/tivo is backing us even further into a sad place. We can’t wait for anything and we can’t miss anything.

I always remember my mother saying to me, “Life goes on,” when I would complain that while I was off doing one thing I wanted to do, the family was doing something else of similar fun. She was reminding me, that while I was free to make my choice of what I was pursuing that moment, the family was also free to do the same.

 I wonder if we really respect that today? We can’t stand in line making small talk with the elderly lady ahead of us because we are too frustrated with someone else in the aisle with one too many items for the express lane. We run and run but never catch up.

 We need to help our children to slow down, to enjoy not just the event but the anticipation. Try to do this by demonstrating some self-control yourself. Talk about what you are waiting for. Talk about how easy it would be to take the shortcut, but take “the sweetest way home” as my dad used to put it.

 Have you noticed this in your own life or in the life of your child? How do you slow down and enjoy life?

My Dad

Nearly two years ago, I wrote a very quick post about my dad. He’s the last of a great generation. The day I posted that, he was heading for triple bypass surgery. Since then, he’s struggled back to his old self. Though, maybe they should have fixed those knees when you were out of commission too, Dad!

 As I grew-up matured aged, I realized that everyone else thought their dad was from a different age as well, if not a different planet. However, when I hear Tom Brokaw speak of “The Greatest Generation”, I think of my dad. Though technically he wasn't born for several years after the generation Brokaw speaks of, to me he always seemed to be from a different time period from everyone else. He wore fedora hats, when everyone else’s dad didn’t. He had conservative rules, that even my conservative friends’ dads didn’t seem to have. He was never out of control. He was never domineering. He was never lazy. He was never afraid to say what he believed. In short, he was everything kids resist, but everything that we as adults strive to be.

 I know my dad's not perfect, but that doesn't matter to me. He does his best, and that does matter to me. 

So, what did I learn from my dad about being a dad?
                   You have to be consistent.
                   You can be firm without being domineering.
                   You can be respectful and respected at the same time.
                   Yelling isn’t necessary.
                   Working never hurt anyone.
                   Family holidays are important.
                  When it comes to matters of faith, live what you believe.

 I am sure there is more to be said about my dad as the months roll by, but for now, off the top of my head, that’s some of what I learned from the best man I know.

 What did you learn from your dad?

Friday's Ideas first ever post!

Ironically, as I type this, three of my own children are running around the house doing their own thing.  That, in and of itself, is not bad.  At the same time, one of those dear children needs lots of direction.  Another finds nothing better to do than annoying his siblings (and parents, and neighbours, and the planet!).  The third is only with us for now.  We do not know how long we will have the joy of raising this little gem.  He is our foster-son.

The irony stems from the fact that as a dad, I could be taking the time to pour into these little boys’ lives.  I could be teaching, talking, playing, interacting with them.  I could be showing them new ideas, modeling proper behaviors, perfecting their spiral throwing or coloring skills.  But I am not. 

At the same time, I can be intentionally parenting.  I must be a dad before I am a blogger. With this in mind, I must keep an ear to their play and interactions, I must allow them to play, but must allow them to be children within a family setting at the same time.  I must not allow myself to become detached from the world they are in.  Oh, how difficult that is to achieve!

Come back and visit often. Let's live and learn together!

Welcome to our first ever Wednesday's Trendsday post

First off…Happy Birthday to the first person who ever called me “Dad”.  Our princess is 16 today!  I will talk more about our relationship as time goes on in this site, but please allow a brief history. She was eight when I became her “dad”.  That was not easy for her, but from the day her mom and I were married she called me “Dad” (lately it has often been, “Daddy” in a funny, airy, British accent!).  So, happy birthday kiddo, I am so very proud of the young woman you have become.

Secondly, if you've come over here from A-to-Z or Tossing it Out, look at yesterday's post please!

Wednesdays are Trendsdays here at Dads UnLimited.  Consider the clever (pseudo) rhyming scheme there-  T.S. Eliot, watch your back… 

Some of the many topics we will cover here will be things like homework, movies, gaming, technology, attitudes, new toys and gadgets…anything that affects our children’s lives and how we as dads can help them through it. 

If you read these words and have anything to offer in regard to this topic, whether you’d be interested in guest posting, or just throwing out a suggested topic, please leave a comment here.  Don’t be shy, the internet can’t bite but you have to face this reality -your words are out there for many to read, so have a little restraint!  One of the themes this blog will uphold is that you are a dad 24 hours a day, even when commenting online, type something your child would be proud to read someday.

Video Challenge

At the risk of grinding momentum for Dads UnLimited to a halt, I break out of routine after only one day!  We will get back on track, but due to timing, holidays, other people's schedules, etc, I am posting this today.

So, one video begot another.

The first one, the one from Saturday was my attempt to join the reflections postings parade over at A-to-Zchallenge.com .  When Lee, one of the intrepid and untiring leaders of the challenge, and chief cook and blogger-washer at both A-Z and his personal blog , saw my first attempt, he did what Lee always does.  He encouraged me.  You just shouldn't feed the seagulls, though Lee, those things become pests!

What followed then was a dozen emails back and forth and then this second video

So, what?  Well, I'm done.

But you're not.

Maybe you can do something bigger better or bolder than mine.  Maybe you just want to try.  Ask a twelve year old, they can do something like I did in just an hour or two.  They can do something better than I did in twenty minutes or less too, if they have the right program.  They can likely find the right program, pirate it off the internet onto their smartphone (paid for with your money), figure it out and create something inside of that twenty minutes.  

But it doesn't have to be about better.  It does have to be about fun, and creative and inspiring and new and just go-ahead-and-try-it-you-don't-know-what-you've-got-till-you've-tried!

Check out A-to-ZChallenge.com for all the details of what's in it for you!  Promote your video. Put it on Youtube, link to it in your emails, post it on your blog, link to it on Facebook, you'll think of something, you always do!  

Please, please leave me a comment.  32 people showed up here on Saturday and only six left a comment, oh, there was that one spammer too...

Sorry if this sounds like a sales pitch... nothings being sold, just promoting a really great way to write, meet, network and enjoy the blogging community!

I am my kids' Dad

Anyone can be a father, you have to work hard to become dad.  There are so many great things that come about from the moment you are labeled as “Dad”.  One day, you’re you, the next day, you’re so much more. 

With the re-launching of Inside Out as Dads Unlimited, I hope to plumb some of the depths of meaning of the word "dad"- the joys, hopes, fears, responsibilities, aids, opportunities, and so much more that is necessary and helpful to us as dads.

For too long, popular culture has portrayed dads as bumbling, insensitive, selfish boors.  Some of us actually believe that is who we are to be.  Its time we make the name “Dad” into something hard to achieve, not easy.  Let’s re-take the title.

Over the next few months, I hope to see this blog turn into a place where dads can congregate, celebrate, cogitate and even castigate if need be.  “Press a button and tune back in three-four-five times a week,” are the words of Toronto’s all news radio station.  I encourage the same here.  Save to Favorites and come back often.  This blog is a work-in-progress, then again, aren’t we all?

Monday’s are planned for Inspirational days- days when Dads Unlimited brings encouragement and motivation to keep striving to become who we want so much to be.  Wednesday’s are for Trends- current topics and how we can possibly face what is going on in the world around us in light of who we are. 

Friday’s are for Ideas- things to do with our kids, or how to handle situations that may arise.

Tomorrow there will be a post as well…not a regularly scheduled one, a diversion.  There will be a second video uploaded regarding the A-to-Z Blog Challenge coming up this April.  Stay tuned.  Also, stay tuned over at the official A-to-Z Challenge website for exciting details of what is ahead!

Please, come back and see us.  As always, comments, even just a friendly hello, are welcomed.  Suggestions even more so.
Oh, and we are adding a baby to our home today too...stay tuned!