Human Conscience through the eyes of a dog.

So, we got a dog. Some of you know this. This is not the point.

This dear pup, Gabi, likes to run free. So do I. No restraints would be ideal. Right? Can I get a witness? She always has come back so far. So have I. So far.

Usually she pulls her whole restraint system right out of the ground and makes a break for it. Often that means she's soon entangled by the nearby trees. Me too.

The other day though, I saw me in her for the first time. I let down my guard for just a second and she broke free. This does not mean take off in a straight line for the horizon, it means begin making ever larger arcs while sniffing every leaf, rock and stick. So in her first ten seconds of freedom she moved about twenty feet, not far. Now, this has happened before and so, I begin my ever-so-subtle trap. Crouch, smile, speak softly, "Here, Gabi." She immediately looks at me over her shoulder, or whatever you call that part of the dog...and now she has a choice and I see my reflection for the first time.

"Do I stay or do I go now?"

She goes.

And doesn't look back.

And there I am. I see what I have to do to avoid the sin I so easily fall into. When I catch the Father's eye, when I know that I'm about to step outside of his will, I must obey then, or I crush my conscience. I can't play, I simply won't look back.

Not only will I not, look back, I can't look back.

And that is guilt. Its needed, because it reminds me I have broken something and it needs immediate attention. Reminds me of the new Switchfoot song...lyrics below.

(Though I do wish there was mention of the word sin, not just sickness. The analogy is good, but its overplayed in Christianity to the point we forget its not illness, its a choice!)



Mess of Me

I am my own affliction
I am my own disease
There ain´t no drug that they could sell
Ah there ain´t no drugs to make me well

There ain´t no drug
It´s not enough
There ain´t no drug
The sickness is myself

- Chorus -
I made a mess of me I wanna get back the rest of me
I´ve made a mess of me I wanna spend the rest of my life alive
I´ve made a mess of me I wanna reverse this tragedy
I´ve made a mess of me I wanna spend the rest of my live alive
The rest of my life alive!

We lock our souls in cages
We hide inside our shells
It´s hard to free to the ones you love
Oh when you can´t forgive yourself
Yeah forgive yourself!

There ain´t no drug
There ain´t no drug
There ain´t no drug
The sickness is myself

- Chorus -
I made a mess of me I wanna get back the rest of me
I´ve made a mess of me I wanna spend the rest of my life alive
I´ve made a mess of me I wanna reverse this tragedy
I´ve made a mess of me I wanna spend the rest of my live alive
The rest of my life alive!

AHHHHHHOOOOO! Right

There ain´t no drug
There ain´t no drug
There ain´t no drug
No drugs to make me well
There ain´t no drug
It´s not enough
I´m breaking up
The sickness is myself
The sickness is myself

- Chorus -
I made a mess of me I wanna get back the rest of me
I´ve made a mess of me I wanna spend the rest of my life alive
I´ve made a mess of me I wanna reverse this tragedy
I´ve made a mess of me I wanna spend the rest of my live alive
The rest of my life alive!!

We will remember

Today was another important celebration of Remembrance Day.

I couldn't help but come to grips today with the reality of a soldier's life. For the first time I told myself I'd be okay with one of our boys joining the army. I'm not going to tuck them into bed with dreams of army life, but I do see a bigger picture now than I have been able to before.

Every time the veterans parade by, I have to hold back the tears. People clap and say thank you to them as they pass by. There is real appreciation, everyone stops for that two minutes of silence, even small children seem to know.

And I wonder, wonder how I respect the one who I'm called to remember? Do I have to hold back the tears? Do I not understand? Why can we get a (too) small crowd to the cenotaph, but a scattered few to remember Jesus?