Funniest thing I've read in a while

Hand Soap bottle
Our bathroom

“Entice your senses with the aromatic blend of Jasmine and the delicately sweet, floral notes of Orange Blossom.
The creamy formula envelops your hands in a delightful bouquet while thoroughly cleansing your skin. Your hands are left feeling clean, soft and freshly scented.”

Great stuff. Which senses are we enticing when it is aromatic, because it seems there is more than one. Since smell and taste go together, I guess its taste!
Why are the words Jasmine and Orange Blossom capitalized? Are they song titles? People? Townships?

Why would I be “enticed” to buy soap that is delicately sweet, more than soap that is just orange- blossom scented?

Who talks about “floral notes”, let alone cares to be thinking about them when reading the back of a soap dispenser?

Who reads the back of a soap dispenser?

Notice that it is not the creamy soap, but the formula, which happens to be creamy, that envelops your hands.

This is what happens when you let the same person who writes for Hallmark write for your soap dispenser labels. “aromatic”, “entice”, “delicately sweet floral notes”, “creamy formula envelops”, “delightful bouquet”, “freshly scented”.

Notice that your hands feel - not smell, but feel freshly scented.

Why is it written like this? Is this a rarity? Is there more of this stuff out there?

The funniest thing I’ve read recently...

Grocery store parking lot, Ottawa:

“We regret, but we are not responsible for damage or loss suffered to your vehicle while parked in this lot.”

Really? You regret it? Then you won’t mind making restitution for the damage caused. You don’t regret it, you are glad you’re not. You went to your lawyer to make sure you weren’t before you put up the sign.

Is this not symptomatic of the way we live? We politely avoid responsibility. We attempt to maintain a modicum of humility while at the same time we want to avoid blame. Without doubt, this is as human- as like me- as you can get.